Online Diary: Bullies

Hello future me!

As you can tell, today's blog post is on bullies/bullying. 

Back in december of last year, me and this kid- Who's name I will not share... (Let's call him Chance, because out of all the kids I decided to mess with, I chose him.)- dated... or what ever you would call dating when it came to us and the school we were in. 

We didn't really speak like a normal couple would and it was just a bad relationship. (PS, sadly he was my FIRST boyfriend).  But then again, I go to a private school, and dating is against the rules. No, scratch that, touching people is against the rules! 

Anyway- so we dated and things ended really horribly, but as I've stated before, it was a bad relationship so I wasn't even upset.

Time went by and 'Chance' decided to get a little ruder to me.

I'm a very sassy and outspoken person, and if you give me a snarky comment or make fun of me, believe it or not, you'll receive one just as bad, and if not, worse. 

So things got a little heated between us- just kidding... VERY HEATED. 

He made sure every single day that I was made fun of, and my so called friends decided to go along with it.

He told me I was like his mother because I was bossy.

He also told my friends on a day I was out sick that I would never get a boyfriend because I was boring and my 'friends' totally laughed along with him!

The only reason I found out about that was because my closest friend till this day was eaves dropping and told me. Lets call her.... Bold, because just like me, she's super sassy! We grew up together (I've known her since Pre K) and our mothers are sisters by heart, just like we are. 

Anyway- back to Chance. He bullied me to the point that I didn't even stand up for myself anymore. 

He completely shattered my self esteem, Which I'm still trying to repair, and even affected the way I spoke to my FAMILY.

The very people I know will love me until I die!- The very people I'd kill myself for!

I used to be really spunky and silly around them, but now I'm wayyy too shy and quiet that I almost seem depressed- Which I am not. 

I use to cry myself to sleep quite often, and although I've been able to grow past that stage, I still don't have that silly confidence I use to have. 

I've tried everything I could to gain it back and nothing seems to work.

I try coming to level that I'm changed and I probably won't go back to the way I was before, but that still doesn't help.

I'm sick and tired of living this life and I so desperately NEED change! 

I'm tired of doing it on my own, and now that I've started a blog, I want you guys to help me out.

Leave some suggestions down below and I'll take all of them under consideration. 

Have you guys ever experienced bullying? Whether it happened to you, or to someone you know?