What do you do when theres nothing left to do?
What do you do when everything is falling apart right before your eyes, and theres absolutely no action you can do to prevent it?
Life hurt so bad. Day after day, bad news after bad news, tear after tear- when will everything begin to start going up again? Or will it continue to spiral down until I can no longer bear it?
I'm just a little girl trying to find her place in this world, and everything just seems to want to be going against me.
What do you do?
May 22, 2016
May 8, 2016
My Birthday Photo shoot
I found my dress a couple days ago and tomorrow I get it fitted to my body. I'm pretty excited for this photo shoot.
Mom and I will probably be going up state to get my pictures taken- so I'll be taking a couple days off of school and I'm really excited for that.
I need about 4 outfits: one gown, one beach dress outfit, one garden outfit and one railroad track outfit. So far I have the first two.
Mom and I will probably be going up state to get my pictures taken- so I'll be taking a couple days off of school and I'm really excited for that.
I need about 4 outfits: one gown, one beach dress outfit, one garden outfit and one railroad track outfit. So far I have the first two.
This Sucks
These past days have been better. I haven't cried about him in a long time.
Probably because I haven't been seeing him or her.
But I continue to miss him. He's so fucking poisonous and addicting.
I don't know what to do... Why do I need him so much?
Probably because I haven't been seeing him or her.
But I continue to miss him. He's so fucking poisonous and addicting.
I don't know what to do... Why do I need him so much?
May 3, 2016
It Hurts
It hurts. It still hurts. It gets worse day by day- the crying, the pure sadness, the jealousy and the hate.
I feel a little relief when I'm with someone else or not alone. However, sometimes just being with someone isn't enough. I have to speak to them. It hurts more when I'm not distracted.
My brothers should never have to go through this.
They should never let their walls down like I did. They should never get comfortable with anyone. They should never trust people- because as soon as they begin to feel for someone they will just end up like me. Broken, sad, alone and angry.
Why hasn't the pain subsided yet? Why is it that life gets harder and harder when it should be getting easier and easier? I don't want to be anywhere near him anymore. I don't want to see him because doing so is apparently resulting in me feeling like shit.
I'm so tired. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. Just incredibly exhausted.
So far, every night I lie awake and think about him. Sometimes I pretend like we're still together. Like we've been going strong for months and that everything was okay. Other times I think back and question myself. If I had done things differently, would we still be together?
I do not want to feel this way anymore.
I feel a little relief when I'm with someone else or not alone. However, sometimes just being with someone isn't enough. I have to speak to them. It hurts more when I'm not distracted.
My brothers should never have to go through this.
They should never let their walls down like I did. They should never get comfortable with anyone. They should never trust people- because as soon as they begin to feel for someone they will just end up like me. Broken, sad, alone and angry.
Why hasn't the pain subsided yet? Why is it that life gets harder and harder when it should be getting easier and easier? I don't want to be anywhere near him anymore. I don't want to see him because doing so is apparently resulting in me feeling like shit.
I'm so tired. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. Just incredibly exhausted.
So far, every night I lie awake and think about him. Sometimes I pretend like we're still together. Like we've been going strong for months and that everything was okay. Other times I think back and question myself. If I had done things differently, would we still be together?
I do not want to feel this way anymore.
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